Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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