He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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