Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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