My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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