Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well you can't waste a boner
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
