well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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