Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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