we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
