Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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