just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
