he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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