In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
