i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ladies don't puke and tell
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
