i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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