guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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