It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
