Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
