'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
