when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Enjoy the penises
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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