They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
