am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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