ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
