her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
