I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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