My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im holly from the hills drunk
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize