Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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