Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
