So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
