and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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