just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
