So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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