Im at strip club and am horny
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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