There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
