Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
