i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
