Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
