you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
