Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think my moral compass just broke
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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