Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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