Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
