i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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