it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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