True but thats because hes a fetus.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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