he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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