Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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