Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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