I love black thongs
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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