well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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