Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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