She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There's always time for handjobs
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm like, not good at living.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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