Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
