New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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