This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
