The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Randomize
