Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
