I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Randomize
