Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize