piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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