would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
