I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You brought string cheese to the strip club
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
