Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we're making bets on your personal life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
