She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize