Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
