I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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