there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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