I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
