come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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