the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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