at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
