So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
